On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She is in my trunk
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Nicole vs. Life
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize