Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
