things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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