If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
