Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
