You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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