I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Come on in and take your pants off
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