Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
