I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
