he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
