you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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