I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
