I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
3pm strippers are depressing
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
