i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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