He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
