Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
