She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize