Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
