Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
