Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
