We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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