Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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