I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
