Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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