I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
