plz talk dirty to me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
