Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
