I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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