why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
