Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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