Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
