how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize