i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
is it fun? or sober?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
