good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
