Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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