and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Come on in and take your pants off
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