I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
