a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
