I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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