It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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