hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize