brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i've created a new STD.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
