I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
