I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
