If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize