"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
