arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
