your room smells of hookers.
And success
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You pole danced in your parka.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
