when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we made out on top of his cat.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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