went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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