don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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