he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
