hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
