Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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