no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
