We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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