Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
