Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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