As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have aggressive nipples.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
