Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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