Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
