I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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