i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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