You made me cry and you don't even care
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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