That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
it was like eating out sand paper
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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