So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
