You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
