apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
