Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
stop calling my apartment porn island.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
