new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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