Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
