so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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