Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
