in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
