Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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